Indiana Jones and the Temple of a boring movie.
Posted by Neil Brimelow | Filed under Film General
Boring, slow and without life.
That pretty much sums up Indiana Jones and the Temple of the Crystal Skull.
My Flaws that I caught:
The area 51 skull’s magnetic field makes no sense. It produced a strong enough magnetic field to pull gunpowder to if from several hundred yards, but later in the movie the Conquistador skull’s magnetic properties can be nullified by simply covering it up with a cloth.
Why would the government have “buried” the alien corpse in the warehouse so soon after the apparent ufo crash in Roswell? You would think that they would have had the corpse in some even more super secret lab trying to extract it’s secrets. I can understand the Ark of the Covenant being put in Area 51, that’s fine. It is, after all, just a fancy box (unless you open it, or according to the bible, touch it). But, the government mothballing the most significant find of all known history is just absurd.
Also, why was the alien remains from area 51 simply and utterly forgotten about? Why couldn’t they just use that skull from the corpse?
Area 51 would not have been guarded by just four guards. Why would a Nuke test shut down Area 51?
A lead lined fridge would not have been sufficient enough to protect Indy from the radiation from the nuke blast. Furthermore he would have been turned to goo inside of the fridge when the shockwave hit and at the very least been liquidated upon impact inside the fridge.
To be quite honest I can’t figure out how the Skull went missing in the first place. So, let me get this straight:
Aliens arrive in past, teach the “Mayans” advanced tech. become Gods among men. Then die inside their spaceship. “Mayans” build fancy temple around ship. Conquistadors show up, steal one of the skulls. Conquistador dies somewhere else in Peru and is buried with the skull. Ox finds the skull and tries to return it to spaceship site, but then decides to put it back at the burial site??? and then goes insane. sigh.
What does not make sense, is apparently the ancient skeletons had been sitting on their thrones for ages right? So long that the “Mayans” built a whole elaborate temple around the spaceship. The aliens in skeletal form were all there before the conquistadors showed up, so why did the aliens just leave way back then?
OR the story could have been setup where the conquistadors attacked the aliens and the “mayans” and killed them all and then took one of the skulls.
Anyhoo.
The CGI in the jungle scenes really sucked. The computer game “Crysis” does comparable graphics, and it’s a video game.
The snake scene went from o.k. CGI to rubber snake.
When Indy opens the giant obelisk entrance to the temple/spaceship, why were there dead bodies at the bottom of the apparent trap? It’s not exactly a big boulder; i.e. it was pretty freakin’ elaborate for an entrance booby trap that apparently was reset since the conquistadors were there.
Why did Indy blow up the jungle cutting machine? It was not really even in their way. It was crossing their path, but not actively attacking them.
The ant scene failed because you knew that the big russian was going to end up getting punched into the ant pile and eaten. With Raiders there was the constant threat of the propeller blades in the infamous fight scene with the big bald german, but you really did not expect the german to be utter shredded by the blades.
The monkeys were just gay. I think everyone in the theater was sighing during that obvious George Lucas contribution to the movie.
There is a lot more that I could nit pick, but to be honest, not really much happened in the movie.